Happiness Concierge: 4 steps to developing your confidence
Confidence burn out is common. Keep your mojo in check by following these easy steps from Happiness Concierge's Rachel Service.
Rachel Service is the Founder of Happiness Concierge: a training company that helps people ace their work and lives
Confidence is not a personality trait, it's a skill.
You don't have to fake it until you make it; it's about maximising the goods you already have and celebrating what comes to you naturally. Here are four steps that you can implement to start building up your confidence muscle today.
1. Flex your strengths
Think back to a time when you were completely in your element and felt like a total boss. Were you out of your comfort zone, doing something new that terrified you? Chances are: no.
We tend to feel most confident when we play to our strengths, feel competent, have proven examples of success, and feel both valued and validated. The things we find easy are often the things we're naturally skilled at. And because they come easy to us, we're sometimes inclined to think they're less valuable.
There's a major difference between making small incremental improvements and beating ourselves up for not being good enough at things that aren't our natural strengths.
Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, professor at University College London and Columbia University, says talent is really personality in the right place. "When you match people to environments or roles that are congruent with their skills, knowledge, and assets, they will do better," he says.
2. Celebrate the small wins
Articulating achievements is a powerful exercise in building confidence. Writing down everything you've achieved in 2018, big and small, helps you extract just how you have spent your time and what you can be proud of.
It took me years to rebuild my confidence after experiencing anxiety and depression for much of my 20s. A critical part of rebuilding my mojo was celebrating the smallest of wins every day.
Take a look back at 2017 and how 2018 has been so far. What are some progress points that you're incredibly proud of? And if that's too much of a jump, why not do it with a friend and ask them: what would you say I've done well this year?
3. Reframe limitations
Make your #onechange
When you wake up in a morning, think about one win from the previous day to get your mojo flowing from the get-go.
Heading to a networking event, a Tinder date, or even a meeting with your boss can induce a wave of anxiety. When we experience anxiety, our mindset immediately goes into threat mode, which can significantly impact how we behave and interact with others.
Through reframing our limitations positively, we can harness the energy from being excited and, ultimately, enter an opportunity mindset. Try asking yourself three questions: 'What's the worst that could happen? What's the best thing that will happen? How could I use this nervous energy as an opportunity?'
In anxiety-provoking situations, our default solution is usually to 'stay calm'. However, Alison Wood Brooks of Harvard Business School is disrupting this notion by proposing we reappraise anxiety as excitement.
Here's one of my fave ways we teach this at Happiness Concierge presentation training: "I want it to go well. I'm nervous because I'm excited. I want it to go well, so I'll try my best."
4. Take action
Thinking about something new only makes it scarier. At Happiness Concierge, we suggest thinking about the smallest, lowest risk action you could take immediately to move towards something you find daunting.
As Beyoncé once said: "When I'm not feeling my best I ask myself, 'What are you gonna do about it?' I use the negativity to fuel the transformation into a better me."
Our lives are underpinned by the habits that we consistently build on and practise.
So, what one small thing will you do after you read this?
Rachel Service is the Founder of Happiness Concierge: a training company that helps people ace their work and lives. After suffering anxiety, depression and burnout in her 20s, Rachel realised her career was killing her and created Happiness Concierge to help other people have more impact at work.
The information in this article is general information only and is not intended as financial, medical, health, nutritional, tax or other advice. It does not take into account any individual’s personal situation or needs. You should consider obtaining professional advice from a financial adviser and/or tax specialist, or medical or health practitioner, in relation to your own circumstances and before acting on this information.